reverie: inbox

[rootsforyou]

Text | Action | Ring A Bell | Other

Comments

[rootsforyou]

Is it difficult to guess?

[strikingchords]

We are unalike in other ways.

Please.

[rootsforyou]

[stirs the soup, idly]

He's interested in collecting enough tokens for a wish. But not for himself. For me, for Zixuan, for the Wens, for you. Even if he succeeds in correcting everything that happened, he has no intention of going back himself.

I told him that he should do as he wished. However, I wouldn't return without him. He didn't seem happy with that. So I...wanted to better understand the events that transpired leading up to our deaths. So that they can be avoided in the future, if that's the path we go down.

[strikingchords]

[his knuckles are clenched white on the edge of the cutting board; his hair shadows his face a little, but he has too much self control to hide it, so the iced-over lines of his profile are perfectly clear.]

...

[rootsforyou]

[covers the soup with a lid and shifts her body more to face him head-on, hands folded in front of her]

Feel free to speak your mind, Hanguang-Jun.

[strikingchords]

[steadily, after another moment]

We are in sympathy.

[rootsforyou]

[exhales]

I don't want to pressure him to do something he doesn't wish to do. So I'll accept whatever he decides. Since there's time, there's no rush to make a decision about the future. But...I'm worried he'll pick something that will make him unhappy.

[strikingchords]

It seems he wants something you do not wish, as well.

[rootsforyou]

I don't wish to go back on my agreement to help on Echidna. So, as I said, at this time I have no ability to gain tokens for myself. That means whatever is done with those tokens, in the end, isn't up to me.

I also don't take my agreement with the Warden to mean that I will remain here forever. Her intent appears to be to "rehabilitate" everyone. There will come a point when there are no more people left here, or a point where I feel like there's nothing more that I can do to help. But that is a point off in the future, and I don't know what will change between now and then. There's much that I still don't understand. Before saying whether or not there's something I wish for, I want to understand what the cost would be for that wish.

[strikingchords]

[...exhales...]

That is not unreasonable.

[rootsforyou]

Hanguang-Jun. Forgive me if this is too forward. But within the last few days I've seen how much you care for A-Xian. Though you won't say it directly, I've also heard how much you did for him prior to your arrival here. Would I be correct in thinking that, given the opportunity, you would wish for him to return to our world once more?

[strikingchords]

...

It is so.

Why do you ask?

[obviously she's interested in what happens to Wei Wuxian, since she cares about him. but it feels like there's something she's thinking about, that she wanted that response to confirm]

[rootsforyou]

You don't seem like the kind of person who would do so against his wishes. I wondered if you had an idea of how to persuade him. And what you intended to do if he couldn't be persuaded.

[strikingchords]

I do not know.

...

Your presence would assist. He would not return for me.

[as cool and remote and matter of fact as ever. releases the cutting board as an afterthought and mechanically starts cleaning up]

[rootsforyou]

[watches his face while he cleans up]

Did you ask him?

[strikingchords]

[it's... his face. carved-jade and grave, eyes closed for a moment and then open again, mouth neutral]

After Nightless City.

Unlikely to have changed.

[rootsforyou]

[it's an answer to her question, and also another question she didn't ask??? reflexively places a hand flat on the counter to steady herself]

...I fear I've misunderstood you. You asked after the Nightless City? After he used the Stygian Tiger Seal?

[strikingchords]

[puts the cutting board in the sink and starts washing the horrible pepper juice off of it.]

Every day since is after.

[rootsforyou]

. . .

[moves to help rinse and dry]

You said he didn't remember.

[strikingchords]

Mm.

[passes it to her; sure]

[rootsforyou]

[doesn't continue that train of thought; rinses and dries all of the dishes in silence]

[strikingchords]

[the soup is still simmering...

Lan Wangji nods to her, when they're done]

Young Madame Jin. You are greatly missed. You spoke of the cost of wishing.

How have you priced your regrets?

[rootsforyou]

How should I price something like that? I don't regret the actions I took. Only what's left undone.

[strikingchords]

...

...

[breathes out... softer again, repeating it:]

We are in sympathy.

[rootsforyou]

We are.

[reaches for his hand, slow and with care, giving him the room to refuse if he doesn't want the contact]

It's presumptuous to say. But I understand your situation, a bit. I'm sorry.

[she does know exactly what it's like to be in love with someone who has rejected you]