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[rootsforyou]

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[rootsforyou]

I do.

Hanguang-Jun has been unfailingly polite to me since I arrived. He has helped us both, indulged my many questions, offered insight and guidance, spoken fondly of you, and gone out of his way to assist in the ways he can.

[brushes a few stray strands of hair out of his face]

Although I do not doubt that it is in his nature to provide aid to those he meets, I am quite sure he did not do any of those things for my sake. Before this we have barely done more than exchange pleasantries. He helped me because I am your shijie, and doing so would lessen your burden.

[laughitoff]

[his ears and tail twitch uncomfortably; he doesn't quite believe the part about none of it being for Yanli's sake directly, but the rest hits deep under his skin, every word a small stab of guilt. no, he shouldn't be cruel to someone who's helped defend his sister and tried to save her life; someone who'd saved A-Yuan; someone who professes to be an ally and proves it with his actions, even if he won't be a friend.]

Then what should I do? If talking doesn't work, and gestures don't work.

[rootsforyou]

I don't know. I don't know what he does that's different when it's just the two of you or how it ends in arguments. Even if I could say what I would do in a situation, it isn't the same as what you would do, is it?

...What do you think of Hanguang-Jun? Don't tell me what he thinks of you. I want to know what you think of him.

[laughitoff]

...

He unnerves me. I...I am grateful to him for what he's done, but it's hard to tell where he stands. Sometimes I'm glad he's here and sometimes I wish he really wasn't...he doesn't belong in a place like this, anyway. Neither of you do.

[rootsforyou]

None of us do. But we're already here. I don't want to fret about it too much, even if I wish it were a little different.

What do you want to know about where he stands?

[laughitoff]

...

I don't know why he's standing up for me. As you said, he'll take his duty to aid others seriously--he's a righteous man. But it's not like I am.

[rootsforyou]

A-Xian...That's not true.

[it's gentler than the last time she said it, almost sad. but also unwavering]

You've spent your whole life helping others and doing what you think is right. Would you dare to say you're not a righteous man to me? I watched you grow up. Just because society has misunderstood you doesn't mean you need to misunderstand yourself. I'm sure Hanguang-Jun sees the same man that I do in you.

[laughitoff]

Shijie.

[tucks her hair behind one ear, utterly gentle]

...I truly don't recall what happened at Nightless City, after you were struck down. But I do know that I used the Tiger Seal, against all those assembled there. That wasn't the action of a righteous man, whether he was misunderstood or not.

[rootsforyou]

I did not say you were a perfect man. I am not here to excuse or condone the things you've done wrong. Only you can reflect upon those. I am saying that, for all the time I've known you, you've tried to do the right thing. Stumbling along a path does not mean you've lost your way.

[laughitoff]

[oh

yeah he has to quiet for a moment there, bowing his head

it's not the same as forgiveness -- it's not like any one person could forgive him for what he regrets, or that he'd accept it if they tried -- but it squeezes his heart to hear, all the same.]

[rootsforyou]

[she cannot give him a hug, but he is basically curled into a small ball on her lap, so she settles for giving his shoulder a squeeze]

[laughitoff]

[breathes.]

...thank you.

[rootsforyou]

Is there a need for thanks when it comes to saying your thoughts aloud?

[but lightly, because she's not weird about being thanked]

I may have taken it for granted that you knew I thought this of you.

[laughitoff]

It's...

It's hard not to question myself, considering everything that happened.

[rootsforyou]

It's...

[swallows]

Many things went wrong very quickly. It feels insufficient to try to describe it with words. But I will still stand by what I said. Our worst moments are not the whole of us.

[laughitoff]

[a soft sigh]

...I'll try harder.

[rootsforyou]

...Be patient with yourself. If there's something you want to improve upon, you'll naturally notice it and be more mindful as time goes on.

It isn't the best way to resolve a situation, but would you like me to speak to Hanguang-Jun for you?

[laughitoff]

[his eyes dart up to her face, startled again]

You would?

[rootsforyou]

I would. I understand that it's difficult to speak with him if emotions are still high or you don't know what to say. Do not expect me to offer such a thing too often, though. It would not be a proper mending of a relationship if you only ever speak through me.

[pokes his nose, gentle, fond]

It's all right if you need me to lead the way once or twice though.

[laughitoff]

[swallows and shakes his head a little]

No, it's fine. I'll--I'll talk to him. I'll try.

[rootsforyou]

You will? Then please tell me how it goes. I would be happy to hear what progress you're able to make.

[laughitoff]

[nods again!

he would hate to be compared to a chastened puppy but that's exactly what he looks like right now]

[rootsforyou]

[oh noooooooo, pets him more]

I'm sure you already know this, but it's perfectly fine if you don't get along with everyone. In this case, though, I can only encourage you to try. You both respect each other too much to leave it as it is.

[laughitoff]

Respect is a funny word to use...

[mumbled]

[rootsforyou]

If it's not respect then what would you call it?