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[rootsforyou]

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[laughitoff]

[makes a low stupid noise with every push of her palm, an animal rrrRRRRUUUUUuuuurrrRRRRUUUuuuuurrrRRRRUUUUUU]

I just...made a stupid mistake, I guess. It's not a big deal.

[rootsforyou]

It's not a big deal, but you're avoiding speaking to him.

[laughitoff]

I spoke to him this morning!

[rootsforyou]

Ah, that's my mistake then. Then the situation is that you made a mistake, but you aren't avoiding speaking to him.

[pets him, serene]

[laughitoff]

[puffs with indignation, which mostly just means he gets fluffier under her hand, and makes an inarticulate little noise]

[rootsforyou]

[she does not mind no matter how indignant he gets]

Do you intend to leave things as they are?

[laughitoff]

[ssssulky]

I don't know. It feels worse when I try to talk over things with him again.

[rootsforyou]

Hanguang-Jun is a very serious gentleman. I imagine it's easy for misunderstandings to occur when you both approach things differently. But he cares for you, so if you approach him sincerely it shouldn't go too poorly.

[laughitoff]

[a tiny snort]

Ah, Shijie. It always goes poorly.

[rootsforyou]

[stops petting him, genuinely surprised]

I knew you disagreed plenty before. But you seemed to be getting along here.

[laughitoff]

Not one-on-one.

[rootsforyou]

...Do you know why?

[resumes petting; her voice is soft, not pressuring him to say anything if he doesn't want to]

[laughitoff]

[shrugs]

He still thinks I'm something unpleasant to be cleansed. That I play around when I should be serious.

[rootsforyou]

That's not true.

[the words come immediately, unexpectedly firm from someone usually so mild-mannered; her tail flicks in agitation and she softens her tone]

...It may be true that he thinks you're playing around. But the rest is not true.

[laughitoff]

[stares at her, ears flattened to his skull, completely taken aback]

[rootsforyou]

That was too harsh of me.

[clears her throat, a slight flush of pink spreading across her cheeks; how embarrassing :(]

I didn't mean to startle you. I'm sorry. I only meant to convey that he doesn't think of you as something unpleasant. He thinks very highly of you and cares for your well-being. I can promise you this. If a recent discussion left you with that impression, then it must be a misunderstanding.

[laughitoff]

[a harsh little sound, not relaxing]

He thought my reconciliation gift was a joke. He said it himself.

[rootsforyou]

[small, confused distress]

What were you giving him a reconciliation gift for? What happened before this?

[laughitoff]

...when we came here, I still thought he had participated in the final attack on the Burial Mounds...I ended up attacking and accusing him before he explained.

[rootsforyou]

[she is still making faces, brow furrowing, mouth tilted downward; missing a ton of context isn't helping her to parse this situation better. fingers gently stroke his ears in quiet apology over her stern words, shoulders hunching inward]

I see. So you wished to give him a gift as an apology for that time, and he thought it was a joke. Is that the whole of it?

[laughitoff]

He thought I was being cruel, too. But he said in the next breath he thought well of me. What am I supposed to think of something like that? I don't like it.

[rootsforyou]

No, you're right. You can only judge him by his words and actions. Even if he was having difficulty articulating what he meant to you, it isn't cause to react poorly.

I do think that he truly thinks well of you at heart. But if that isn't reaching you...telling him so directly may make him think on how to express it better.

[soft, soft pets]

And perhaps, grant him some patience as he figures out how to best do so.

[laughitoff]

[he makes an effort to curl up smaller, which is something to see when he is six feet tall]

Hm!

[rootsforyou]

[he is allowed to be as small as he wants]

I'm sorry things aren't going well between you two. I do hope you're able to make amends. You wouldn't be this upset about it if you didn't value his opinion.

[laughitoff]

[T: :T T: :T

digs his fingertips into the soft dirt at the garden's edge, worrying at it]

I'm not ungrateful to him. I just...I don't know.